Friday, August 26, 2016

Feminism for Men

I've noticed a theme since my last post.  I went to a talk at my job about feminism.  I had a troll on the internet try to tell me it was women's fault they are where they are.  He was unpleasant.  I read several news articles which reaffirmed my beliefs.  It's been a week or so of confirmation of the need for feminism.

I've been a fervent feminist most of my life.  I've even been accused of not liking men.  This isn't true.  I have high expectations of men.  I think they should be strong enough to support their women.

Honestly, I've been very lucky in the men in my life.  My father was very progressive - especially for a man born in the 20s - and encouraged all of us to go out and do what we wanted to.  My husband is usually very sensitive to the issues of women.

Because I've had these amazing men in my life, they've set a high standard for my expectations of how men should be.  Now neither of them is perfect but they set the bar high for others.

It doesn't make men less to support women, to be their cheerleader, to help them be the best they can be.  It does make them love and appreciate you more.  It does increase the amount of respect women have for men.

With three daughters, it was important to me they have a good example of how a man should treat a woman.  When I chose Ken, I made a great decision.  He's been an excellent role model.

So I say to all the men - the mothers of boys - to the other 49% of our population.  It's time for you to step up and be a man.  Be a real man who can cry when he's sad, laugh when he's happy, and treat his women as they deserve to be treated - with love and respect.

Here's a secret for all the men - if you manage to do this, you will have a better and stronger relationship with your woman and partner.

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Is Feminism Still Needed?

Someone once told me feminism was no longer needed.  This was a woman who was younger.  My answer to her is look at our society and you will see the answer.

A gymnast in her excitement of winning a gold medal forgot to put her hand over her heart - she got blasted.  An Olympic man lied about being mugged and he got a boys will be boys attitude.

Women are raped which has lifelong effects on her life.  The rapists get off - with the same boys will be boys attitude.  The most recent one I read was the judge didn't want the rapist to miss out on the college experience.

In the last week, I saw an ad for a University which showed mostly men (yes mostly white men) in their ad with an occasional woman or two who were onscreen for very little time (minority males got more time than the women).

Women still make 70 - 80% of what men make.  There are double standards galore in our society when it comes to gender roles.

My answer is - we need feminism now more than ever.  We need EVERYONE who is willing to stand up and say - this is WRONG - to do so.

If women in one of the allegedly free countries are still treated like second class citizens, how can we expect other countries to do more than we do?  How do we make a difference in the world society if we don't resolve the problems we have in our own society?  Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't survive long in the countries where women are supposed to be covered and silent.  I'd rather be a woman in the United States or most European countries than a woman in almost any middle eastern country.

When women are partners and equals, society is evolved.  When the crimes against women are taken seriously, it affirms we are equals.  When they aren't, it proves we still need feminism.

Sunday, August 14, 2016

Wayfarer Acceptance

The new Wayfarer novel is published!  Wayfarer Acceptance is now available for purchase.  Here is a brief description of the next installation of the book:

Adara gives birth! Their daughter arrives early and under less than ideal circumstances. Finally they learn why so many attempts have been made on Adara's life. While Adara and Decker get used to being parents, Jolen and Tillie take on a hacker. Rhia and Bas work on a murder case. Adara meets thirteen year old Bethania from the Holy Cross. The Holy Cross is an old private vessel carrying too many people. It spells disaster.

This one had me stalled because I had to decide how Adara would give birth.  Since there were already a number of births in the books I didn't want to bore my readers with yet another typical birth.  This one is all Adara!  

This book is available on Amazon and Smashwords right now.  Soon it will be available through other sellers.  You can also check out my website 

Friday, August 12, 2016

It's Here!

Yesterday my scooter arrived!!!  I took the day off to make sure I was there to sign for it.  It came midday and the guy didn't make me sign for it.

I'm so happy to have this.  Now I have to figure out how I'm getting it in and out of my car so I don't end up with sore body parts, dirty clothes, or damaged car.

It folds differently from my previous scooter so I can't slide it in like I did the old one.  I'm going to look for options at some point this weekend.

This means I can go places and not feel like a complete burden.  I'll be able to get around and it will be better than before because my old scooter was sporadic at best towards the end.  I have independence and confidence in being able to get around and do things.  I don't have to feel as anxious about going to new places or being left out of things because I'm concerned I won't be able to get around.  My new scooter means I am able to get around any store - maybe even multiple stores!

The struggle with the insurance and the process to get the new scooter was difficult.  I'm glad it's over and I can put it all behind me.

I'm actually looking forward to doing errands this weekend.  I have two stores I need to go to and I should be able to get around and do the stores without a problem.  I should be able to take care of the things I need without there being any issue.  I'm almost excited to shop - and I don't like shopping.

Saturday, August 6, 2016

Drawing to an End

Errands are run.  Coupons are clipped.  Ken will grocery shop tomorrow.  Once I get up, we will prep the meat we got for the freezer and hopefully prep stuff for breakfast and lunches next week.

A headache has settled in the last few days.  At times, it is migraine level and at others it is just there.  I'm hoping it will go away soon.

If the headache stays at bay tonight, I'm going to work on getting the edits in the last  manuscript I have to do.  Hopefully tomorrow after we get the chores done, I can work on publishing.

For my to do list for my vacation, I got most of my stuff done.  I have a couple of items still on the list but this is how my to do lists go.  I'm closing in on my last day off.  Going back to work won't be hard but at the same time I've enjoyed having the down time and getting writing projects done.

At this stage, I'm waiting on my scooter and hoping it arrives at the earliest date rather than the later.  The week will be difficult when it comes to pain level while I use the manual wheelchair but I don't have the option of not going to work.

Having said that, I'm going to put all of this behind me and try to focus on enjoying the last of my vacation and down time.

Friday, August 5, 2016

A New Scooter!

I ordered my new scooter yesterday!  My DVR counselor pushed the paperwork and got all of it done so I could get my scooter on order!  The scooter should be here in a week to ten days.

I still have to go back to work with the manual wheel chair next week but there will be an end in sight for the pain I'll have to cope with.

This morning I slept late again but am now tackling my to do list.  I've gotten a couple done and am now working on the computer.

Last night I finished watching Land Girls which is a BBC show based during WWII about the women who relocated to work on farms while the men went to war.  It was an interesting show and highlighted some interesting aspects of life in the 40s.  Unfortunately, it doesn't look like there will be more seasons of this.  Now I'll have to look for something new to watch.

I did get some writing done yesterday afternoon.  There's a story I'm playing with which is coming in spits and spurts rather than waves.  I'm not sure it will amount to more than an outline / rough draft.  Normally I can see or feel where the story is going, with this one I can't.  Time will tell on this one.

I made progress with some of my other projects.  One of the publishers got back to me with a tentative yes on two articles.  Progress all around on many things.

Thursday, August 4, 2016

Plan Shot To Hell

If you've read anything in my blog, you know I'm a list maker.  I make to do lists all the time and work off them to keep myself on track.  All week I've had a list I'm working off.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not one who schedules every second.  But I wrote up a general list of things I wanted to get done while I was on vacation.

Today is payday so I had a plan for my day.  Yes an actual plan starting with getting up early and getting things done.  That didn't happen.  It actually got off track yesterday when I got a migraine.  I couldn't sleep because of the migraine, so I ended up being up till 2 am.  Not a problem - I'm on vacation.

This morning, I talked to one of my daughters early (6:30 - 7:00 ish).  While I was talking to her I could feel the migraine coming back.  I did what any reasonable person would do, I went back to sleep.  However, this blew my timeframe out of the water.  I wanted bills done early so I could work on publishing.

Here I am at noon and I've still not showered (good thing no one is here) or done any of my other morning routines.  I do have bills paid, have dealt with all my personal emails, and have handled a call for assistance from my mom.

While my plan for the day is shot to hell, I'm still going to get stuff done.  Showering is high on my priority, then I'll see what other mischief I get up to.  I have lots of publishing stuff to do but I may try to tackle it tomorrow.  I'll see how my mood goes once I've showered.  I've got other things on my to do list to tackle like couponing, sorting through some clothes, and organizing some stuff.

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Scooter Update

When it comes to medical / health care stuff, I find myself annoyed, frustrated and distrusting.  Over the years, I've had doctors do stupid things which have adversely affected me.  However, I try to go into these situations with a positive attitude.

Two weeks ago, the insurance turned me down for a scooter.  I could fight it but it would take time.  My doctor said he would write me a letter so I could get a scooter if the insurance turned me down.  When I found out about the insurance, I immediately called his office.  He was on vacation.

Last Monday, I called talked to his triage nurse and gave her the information on which scooter I wanted to buy.  In order for DVR to pay for the scooter, this information has to be in there.

Starting last Wednesday, I called and left messages to see how long it would take to get a letter.  I've called every day since then.  I mean, really how long does it take to write a damn letter?  If he couldn't get it done in a timely manner, I would have been happy to write it and send it to him for his damn signature.

I called this morning.  I was firm but polite.  Yesterday they said someone would call me as they put my message as a high priority.  Right.  That didn't happen.  I spent twenty minutes on the phone, ten of which was before I even spoke to someone.  Once I got someone, they put me on hold.  Finally they came back to say my letter was ready.  I made sure my husband could pick it up.  He will hopefully get what I need and I'll be able to move forward.

I'm relieved about finally getting the letter but to be honest, I'm nervous as hell about what the letter says and if it will satisfy what DVR needs it to say.  Ken won't be home until this afternoon.  I'll be working on editing until he comes home.  Once he's home, I'll scan the letter (if it says what it needs to) and send it off to the counselor at DVR.  I will at that point look for the three quotes she will need to approve the purchase.  I'm hoping it only takes her a couple days to approve.

The fact that it took ten days to get a simple letter is appalling to me.  It was a matter of one sentence - it is medically necessary for this patient to have this scooter.

The only blessing in all of this, I'm off work this week so my pain level is down to a reasonable level but starting on Monday I'm back at work and having to struggle with a manual wheelchair which will raise my pain level significantly again.

Tuesday, August 2, 2016


Friday Ken and I drove to Indiana to spend the day with Vicki on Saturday.  We returned late Saturday.  Friday was also my last day of work until August 8.  I printed off several manuscripts to edit while I'm on vacation.  I have the edits made on paper but need to put them on the computer.

It was a tough drive for me on Friday.  My pain level was high and I was tired.  We had detours, construction, and impatience.  The drive which should have taken five hours took six and a half.  On the way back, we came a different route and it took four and a half.

This morning I finished the manuscripts and I've been working on bills, budget, and a variety of other things.  Sitting at my desk, being organized, and getting stuff done is necessary but I'm antsy to get back to the recliner to enter the edits in my files and work on covers, descriptions etc.

The nice thing, I noticed yesterday my pain level was down.  I didn't have swollen ankles, sore knees, or sore hands.  I might even be able to manage to crochet again.  I can make fists with both my hands.  Now whether this is from the drugs or the inactivity - no clue - but I'm feeling better.

Next on my list is to keep grumbling at the doctor's office.  I have called every day, left a message, and not gotten a call back.  If they don't do a letter for me, I will end up paying for a new scooter on my own.  This is disheartening because I really can't afford the new scooter on my own.  I'll figure it out if I have to but... I'd rather not have to.

Good news for the week - I went to defer my student loans in order to afford the scooter and discovered I'm paid up until February.  This means I don't have to make a payment and I'm not going into deferment.  Both good things.  Also, Ken is going to visit the girls in October.  I went looking for a ticket for him and got it for under $200 total.  This is a great price!  It makes it much more affordable.

The rest of my week will involve a lot more writing tasks.  I am hoping to spend some quality time getting items out and promoting them.  Fingers crossed!

Back at the Grindstone

With nine days off, you would think I got a lot accomplished.  I did when it comes to spending time with my girls but off my to-do list?  No...