Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Family Discussions

Ken and I have been working on paperwork for in case of situations.  We have two power of attorneys done.  We're going to work on the other two documents I posted about previously. 

It was interesting to hear what my daughters had to say about the legal documents.  It is always a touche topic when you are talking about who will be in charge of what.  Certainly there is no indicators of favoritism or even trust. 

I trust all of my daughters to do the right thing.  I trust them all to manage our wishes the way we would want.  The problem is, it is a burden.  I'm reading these documents.  In case I'm in a vegatative state what happens. 

One would hope that if I'm in that state my daughters are going to be emotionally upset so making difficult decisions like not hooking me up to tubes to sustain life would be difficult.  We tends to want to cling to people we love, not letting them move forward or move on.  How do you look at the loved one in the bed and not want to do everything possible to save them? 

This is why these documents are so important.  Here are my wishes is basically what the documents are saying.  Here are my wishes and you have a legal obligation to follow them. 

That means if my daughters are emotionally distraught when I'm laying in this hypothetical vegatative state, they don't have to think.  They just have to follow directions.  It isn't that simple but it makes it easier - I hope. 

I know some people will read this and be uncomfortable with the topic.  We all are going to die eventually. Isn't it better to go into that time prepared and having things in order so your family is prepared and doesn't have to make decisions that are difficult. 

A friend of mine died years ago.  It was sudden and tragic.  I remember speaking with her mother about the disposition of her body.  Did she want to be buried or cremated?  Her mother wasn't sure what her daughter wanted and as her best friend she wanted to know what I thought.  I don't know that I was in any better state than her mother was but we worked through it.  I remember feeling more upset because I didn't know and I wanted to make sure my friend was honored. 

That's why the paper work is important.  That's why it's important for the discussions to happen. 

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