Thursday, January 27, 2011

Financial Fidelity

On the Talk yesterday, they were discussing financial fidelity.  This means that you are open and honest with your partner about your spending, savings, finances.  You don’t hide purchases.  Leah Remini stated that the men in their lives make them lie by being critical of their purchases. 

No one makes us lie.  We lie because we don’t want to deal with the fallout from our actions.  If you are going to lie about what you are purchasing, what else will you lie about? 

Here’s the thing in my mind, if the hubby doesn’t like that you are buying too many of something then look at your purchases.  Are you?  Have you got excess that you don’t need?  Was the latest purchase an impulse?  If you do then maybe it is time to modify your actions. 

On the other hand, if it is just him saying don’t spend money, it needs to become a discussion about why he thinks he gets to say what you can and cannot do for small purchases.

Ken and I have always made a point of buying large things together.  Neither of us spends large sums of money without the other being aware of it.  The small purchases aren’t as important.  Yes Ken will grumble a bit about the number of books I have but he knows better than too much.  We both work.  We both bring in the money.  You know what though; if only one of us worked it wouldn’t matter.  It has always been OUR money.  We are a partnership and as such our money goes to pay the family bills and meet the family needs.

Your partner is the one closest to you and if you can’t be honest and straight forward with him, then you need to reassess your partnership.  Also this behavior begs the question – again – if she truly feels this way, why is she not taking personal responsibility for her own actions?  If you are spending money on shoes or books or whatever, and your husband objects then you need to own it.  Yes I went shopping and yes I bought more shoes.  I like them and I’m planning to continue.  He will either deal with it or the two of you will have an issue.  But face the fact that your actions may be causing that issue.

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